


hold on to happiness

by minyarday



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Healing, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, No Dialogue, POV Neil Josten, Past Domestic Violence, Self-Esteem Issues, mention of neils mother, neil goes to therapy, neil is learning to love himself, nothing really happens here i was just bored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minyarday/pseuds/minyarday
Summary: "self esteem had never been something Neil cared about. when you are a runaway that don't even have a place to call home, you learn to prioritize certain things and forget others"only that now he has the time to think about it
Relationships: Kevin Day/Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	hold on to happiness

**Author's Note:**

> hey, this is the first time I post something on this site so I don't even know if I'm doing this right 
> 
> I'd like to warn you that this is not good and you shouldn't waist your time here cuz I was just super bored when this crap was born
> 
> english isn't my first language so might have mistakes here, please tell me if it's the case!
> 
> hope u enjoy :)

Self esteem had never been something Neil cared about. When you are a runaway that don't even have a place to call home, you learn to prioritize certain things and forget others. The only thing Neil used to love was his mother, but even she had a misrepresented sense of love.

When he was a child and did something wrong, she would tell him he was dumb and would cause the death of the two of them; her hands would go to some part of Neil's body that his clothes could cover up. _Neil: dumb and useless and who only causes troubles._

Years after, those words still follow him.

Neil Josten had friends, family, boyfriends and a bunch of fans, but their love wouldn't make him likes himself a little more. When Kevin confessed that he loved Neil's freckles, Neil didn't become to like them. When Andrew told him there was no reason to be ashamed of his scars — since Minyard himself had a couple of them around his arms — Neil didn't stop to hate them.

Neil was very loved by the others, but self-love was harder to achieve. Slow and gradual.

The first time he remembers feeling something like that was when his test's grade came out. Neil had decided to drop the foreing language course, since he only had choose it because it would be useful in his scape. He didn't need to run away anymore. Then, he decided to join the Barcherlor of Mathematics, which had proved to be a great decision. Neil held the result of his first test of the semester - top score.

That day, Neil felt pride of himself. That day, he didn't hear his mother's voice telling him he was dumb and useless and a trouble maker; he choose to hear Nicky's dramatic congrats. 

Therapy was more complicated than Neil had thought it would be. It was slow and, in most time, Neil discovered new problems more than he found solutions, but that was okay. Betsy was, indeed, as good as the other foxes had sayed. She told him he was doing well. Neil decided to believe.

Neil was very loved by the others, and now he was learning to love himself too. When, in Neil's last year in Palmetto, Andrew and Kevin asked what he thought of renting an apartment together, he felt lucky and happy. Neither Kevin nor Andrew told him he would get them into trouble.

When Wymack, after Neil's last game as a fox — a five point win at home — called Neil _son_ , Neil felt his chest crash with feelings. He didn't have good memories of the word, but he thought he wouldn't mind to create new ones. David Wymack was proud of him, and that couldn't be described in words.

Before the start of his first match on the pro team, the one he shares with his boyfriends, Neil saw his family — the original foxes — on the bleachers, and that gave him the courage to score five points throughout the game. 

Neil Josten had friends, family, boyfriends and a bunch of fans, and now he was learning to be gentle to himself. There were days he would feel dumb and useless and a trouble maker, but they became to be less and less frequent.

He had a home now.

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry.


End file.
